{"id":596,"date":"2010-12-10T06:43:28","date_gmt":"2010-12-10T06:43:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/flyinghobogirl.com\/?p=596"},"modified":"2012-01-02T17:24:54","modified_gmt":"2012-01-02T17:24:54","slug":"yuan-fen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/?p=596","title":{"rendered":"Yuan Fen"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\n This time the Biotruck broke down<\/strong> near Bidor–a small, dusty Malaysian settlement lined with unremarkable storefronts. As I kicked around the parking lot of the mechanic shop, I asked myself: why can’t the truck spring an oil leak at places like the Taj Mahal or Angkor Wat?<\/p>\n

I surveyed the lay of the land: a fruit stand, a hardware store, a hair salon. For the next few days I\u2019d be exiled from the truck as it filled with mechanics, oily rags, and expletives. There was really only one helpful thing I could do: keep out of the way.<\/p>\n

Bidor appeared to be the Middle of Nowhere. Of course, the last time I thought that\u2014in Galang Patah– we ended up on a Dionysian jag with influential politicians uncorking champagne in our honor, celebrating our journey and the Biotruck.<\/p>\n

I needed to give Bidor a chance.<\/p>\n

I am fairly useless <\/strong>in breakdown situations. It\u2019s not that I lack the brainpower to figure it out, or that I\u2019m too girly to get my hands dirty. That isn\u2019t it. It\u2019s just that I\u2019m so completely uninterested. Car parts to me are so boring. Thankfully, Andy feels otherwise. It\u2019s like having a conversation with the engine<\/em>, he explained.<\/p>\n

Days passed while he carried on heated conversation with the fuel filter and the injector pump. I filled the blank hours drinking tea and submitting myself to inane things like having my hair flat-ironed just so I could wait out the brutal Malaysian heat in the air-conditioned salon.<\/p>\n

No doubt, it felt wrong that while poor Andy should be covered in grease, I strolled around the parking lot all day with great hair.\u00a0 So I went over to a fruit shop, deciding that I would bring refreshment to the oily crew. I selected a few mangos, bananas, and a watermelon. I knew the counter space in the Biotruck would be covered in wrenches, so in a clumsy mix of English and charades, I asked the owner for a knife and a cutting board. I sat and chopped the fruit on a mat near the register, balancing a plate on my knees while runnels of watermelon juice ran down my arm. Her son set a box down by my feet to catch the peels, her husband came over to watch and soon, cutting up the fruit became a family effort.<\/p>\n

What is interesting about breakdowns <\/strong>isn\u2019t what went wrong, but the question of how to get rolling again. A disintegrated fuel filter can throw you at the mercy of strangers. Who will help you? You invariably meet people you would have never met, and in some places walk away with the strong sorts of friendships that sometimes get forged under duress. In our case, the truck quit on the highway and Andy had to guide it onto a narrow stop on the shoulder. While he poked around under the hood, I laid a blanket on the grass near the highway and, setting up our laundry hamper as a backrest, resumed reading the literary megalith that is Shantharam. The day dimmed, the mosquitoes bit and it started to worry me that maybe we would have to spend the night right there on the shoulder. Thankfully two laughing Chinese mechanics from Kim Lim\u2019s towing happened to drive by with a tow truck and stopped to give us a hitch. That\u2019s how we got to Bidor.<\/p>\n

Mr. and Mrs. Fatt owned the fruit shop. <\/strong>The morning after our collective fruit slicing session, they idled their car up to the bus and asked us to breakfast. We sat at an open-air Chinese market,\u00a0 poked breakfast dumplings with chopsticks, and did our best to make conversation. We must have done well enough because they took us out to dinner again that night.\u00a0 We got on with them well. They were fun loving– Mr. Fatt liked to tease and in return his wife delivered him regular impish punches to the arm. Over the next couple of days while the Biotruck was in surgery at Kim Lim\u2019s shop, we started hanging out at their house, watching their TV, using their shower, and internet. They showed us a nearby waterfall where we waited out a long hot afternoon in the mist. Before long, Mr. and Mrs. Fatt begin to feel like family, and that dusty block of Bidor storefronts started to feel like home.<\/p>\n

On our last night, they took us out to dinner. While we sipped from our beer bottles, Mr. Fatt pulled out a pen and a napkin. He scribbled out a Chinese character and drew a big circle.<\/p>\n

Yuan Fen<\/em> he said, pointing to the Chinese symbol. The he retraced the circle. Big world, opposite sides, but still we meet. This friendship is a special privilege.<\/em><\/p>\n

Later I would look up<\/strong> the meaning of Yuan Fen and begin to love the word for the way it filled a gap in the English language for a phenomenon that I had experienced, but had never had the verbal tools to articulate.\u00a0 I think \u201dchemistry\u201d might be the closest word we have.<\/p>\n

Simply put, Yean Fen is the \u201cbinding force\u201d that links two people together in a relationship. The amount of Yuan Fen you share with someone determines the level of closeness you will achieve. It\u2019s not just about proximity; you can live next door to someone all your life and never get to know them. This just means you have thin Yuan Fen. On the other hand, you can fall madly in love with someone, but just can\u2019t stay together. “Have Fate without Desinty” is\u00a0 a Chinese proverb used to describe this tragic condition.<\/p>\n

The meaning can get more complicated. Some believe the phenomenon is tied to past lives and karma. As another Chinese proverb goes: It takes hundreds of reincarnations to bring two persons to ride in the same boat; it takes a thousand to bring two persons to share the same pillow.<\/em><\/p>\n

But for me, it is enough that Yuan Fen explains how sometimes people who meet get along, or don\u2019t get along, why friends become friends, lovers become lovers, and also why sometimes relationships break apart. It puts a word to the phenomenon of why there are people I\u2019ve lived near for so long, yet consistently fail to maneuver the conversation passed a \u201chello\u201d and yet at the same time manage to make a heart connection halfway around the world. It explains how we should find Kim Lim\u2019s shop, and then intersect with Mr. and Mrs. Fatt, who don\u2019t speak our language, who live thousands of miles away, and run a fruit stand in a dusty little \u201cnowhere\u201d town called Bidor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This time the Biotruck broke down near Bidor–a small, dusty Malaysian settlement lined with unremarkable storefronts. As I kicked around the parking lot of the mechanic shop, I asked myself: why can’t the truck spring an oil leak at places … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[42,15,43,41],"class_list":["post-596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bidor","tag-biotruck","tag-malaysia","tag-yuan-fen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/596","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=596"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/596\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":760,"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/596\/revisions\/760"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vanabonds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}